There’s a little mantra I’ve carried with me—whether I’m tuning up a guitar backstage or mapping out a digital campaign for a client: don’t ask, don’t get.

It sounds simple, almost too simple. But over the years—across packed Isle of Man pubs, quiet rehearsal rooms, and countless client meetings—it’s become the thread that ties together some of my biggest wins, happiest surprises and proudest moments.

Here’s the truth: most of the best opportunities in my career didn’t land in my lap. They came because I asked. Not always with perfect timing or polished confidence, but with honesty and a willingness to put myself out there.

When you’re a musician on a small island, you quickly realise something: people love it when you’ve got that fire inside you—the genuine hunger to play, to work, to make things happen. That’s the X factor. Promoters, venues, even other musicians—they pick up on it straight away. It’s not about being the loudest or the flashiest; it’s about showing you actually want the gig, that you care enough to ask, and that you’re ready to back it up with real effort.

Some of my favourite gigs—those nights where the crowd is buzzing, the headliner is someone I’ve admired for years, and the energy in the room is electric—started with a simple conversation. It’s a surreal feeling to be on a stage playing your heart out, knowing you’re warming up the crowd for someone whose music you grew up with, whether it’s the anthems of an artist like Gabrielle  or the rock n soul sound of Roachford.

Sometimes, a promoter has seen me play and likes what I do. That’s always a good feeling. But often, it comes down to taking a bit of initiative and letting people know I’m genuinely interested when the right opportunities come up. No pressure, no expectation—just a quiet nudge that I’m ready if they ever need someone.

Over the years, being open, present, and easy to work with has turned what could have been quiet nights into some of my most memorable gigs. It’s funny how a little willingness to put yourself forward—without making a song and dance about it—can open doors you didn’t even know were there.

It’s not about being pushy or bolshy. It’s about being direct, polite and letting people know you’re keen. There’s a big difference between confidence and cockiness. I back myself, but I never assume I’m the best in the room—there’s always someone out there with more to teach me, and I’m open to learning from everyone.

Of course, asking is just the start. What happens next is what really matters.

I work hard—hour after hour, gig after gig. This year alone, I’ve played around 52 shows. That’s a lot of loading gear, soundchecks, late nights, and early mornings. But venues know I’ll show up early, do what I’m told and listen to the sound crew. I don’t make their lives harder; I make things run smoother. That’s what keeps me on the list when a promoter needs someone reliable.

It’s about manners—being respectful, grateful for the opportunity, and easy to work with. I do what I say I’ll do, stay professional, and keep my ego in check. The goal isn’t to be the loudest voice in the room, but the one people want to work with again.

I’m always as straight as I can be with people. I tell them what I can provide and what I can’t. No empty promises, no fluff. Just honesty. That’s how trust is built, gig by gig, campaign by campaign.

It’s funny—people often think music and digital marketing are worlds apart. But the same rules apply.

In digital, I practice what I preach. I don’t just tell clients to be proactive, to reach out, to build real relationships—I do it myself. I admire how entrepreneurs like Jamie Blair of Roots, Isle of Man have built a community around their brand, and I apply that same ethos. If I see an opportunity to help a client or collaborate with another business, I ask. If I want feedback, I ask. If I think there’s a partnership or a new project brewing, I don’t wait for someone else to make the first move.

It’s easy to assume that the people you admire, the ones who seem to have it all sorted, are just lucky. But the truth is, most of them are asking—quietly, consistently and without shame. Often, what holds people back is a fear of rejection or a sense of feeling like a fraud, but they’re making their own luck, one conversation at a time.

The more I put myself out there, the more I realise that most people are waiting for someone to ask. Promoters want reliable musicians. Venues need someone who’ll step in at the last minute. Clients are looking for someone who gets it, who isn’t afraid to speak up and offer something different.

Asking isn’t about arrogance. It’s about connection. It’s about saying, “This is what I do. If it fits, let’s make it happen.” Sometimes you get a yes. Sometimes you get a no. But you always get clarity, and you often get respect.

And through it all, I’ve learned to balance confidence with humility—knowing my craft, but always listening, always learning, always remembering that every gig, every client, every “yes” is a chance to grow.

Every “yes” has a ripple effect. One support slot leads to another. One last-minute gig turns into a regular booking. One honest conversation with a client opens the door to a new campaign, a new audience, a new level of trust.

And it goes both ways. If one of your fellow musicians comes out to watch and support you, return the favour. Show up for their gigs, cheer them on, share their music. It’s not just good manners; it’s how you build real community in places like the Isle of Man Gigs group. The more you support others, the more those good vibes come back around. That’s how scenes grow stronger—one honest show of support at a time.

The real win isn’t just in the gigs, the clients, or the new business. It’s in the confidence that grows every time you ask for what you want. It’s in the relationships that build over time, the trust that comes from showing up and doing what you said you’d do.

I’m not perfect. Sometimes I hesitate. Sometimes I overthink it. But I always come back to that mantra: don’t ask, don’t get.

Whatever you’re building—music, business, a new idea—try asking. Reach out. Offer your help. Ask for the slot, the meeting, the feedback. You might be surprised by how many people, as research shows, are waiting for someone just like you to speak up.

And if you want a digital marketing strategy that’s built on real connection, honest asks, and practical action—using tools designed to help you do just that—you know where to find me and my AI Tools With Alex.

Doors open for those who knock.